What I like about the quotation from Ephesians is not the role definition that Paul seems to ascribe to males and females. I don’t believe as Paul did that women should never speak in church or have authority over men. I don’t believe that a man is always right. What I like about the quotation is the emphasis that Paul places on the kind of love a man is to have for his wife. It is also the kind of love that I believe a wife should have for her husband. It is the kind of love that allows us to forgive each other’s sins and mistakes.
me that I need to search for the hurt and the fear that drives the behavior of my accusers.
That doesn’t mean that Jesus performed a miracle that actually changed the sinful behavior of his bride because he didn’t. His Church continued, and still continues to sin. It means that in spite of the sins that had been committed, were being committed, and would continue to be committed in the future, Christ would love and forgive His bride and present her before God as holy and blameless.
As Christians we should have no illusions about our sinful nature. As Christians we know that no matter how hard we try, nor how pure our heart and our motives, there will be times when we fail. There will be times when we make mistakes. There will times when our circumstances force us to make choices that end up hurting someone. As parents there will be times when we don’t agree on how to respond to our children. As Christians there will be times when we don’t agree on doctrine or on how to interpret a particular bit of scripture. As weak and sinful individuals there will be times when we respond to our own needs at the expense of others. Because we live in an imperfect world we need grace and we need to be willing to forgive. Loving our wives as Christ loved the church means continuing to love and to forgive in the face of conflict and disagreement. In the same way, a wife who loves her husband as Christ loved the church is willing to continue to love and to forgive in the face of conflict and disagreement.
How was Jesus who was fully human, able to look out at his accusers and at those denying him, and crucifying him, and say “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing?” What did Jesus see, that allowed him to forgive? What is it that we fail to see, that prevents us from forgiving?
I believe that Jesus saw the innocence in their hearts. I believe that Jesus saw the seeds of God’s love buried deep in their hearts held captive by their pride, their fear, their hurt and their anger. It is when I fail to see the innocence in my accuser that I struggle to forgive. In the same way, it is when I see the innocence in my wife, and in my children when they respond to me with anger and resentment that I am able to forgive and to continue to love them as Christ loves the church.
Jesus as we know responded to our rejection of Him by loving us all the more, by giving His life for us. Thankfully, he does not often ask us to give our life for someone, but he does ask us to continue to forgive and love, to turn the other cheek. Paul helps us see what that love looks like in our relationships with each other. Paul reminds